Family Matters
by ducainefan
Summary: Finishing what was started in the bar at the end of Season 10's "Habeas Corpus." What does it really mean to be a "family" for the Miami-Dade dayshift? I'm totally bummed about CSI:Miami being cancelled. This story tries to give some closure for the show and the team, from an H/C POV. I am trying to stay canon, but exploring the past in flashbacks while looking to the team's future
1. Chapter 1

Title: "Family Matters"

Author: ducainefan

Subject: Rediscovering that CSI:Miami Team Spirit, H/C relationship undertones

Rating: M (to be safe)

Summary: Finishing what was started in the bar at the end of Season 10's "Habeas Corpus." What does it really mean to be a "family" for the Miami-Dade dayshift? H/C focused.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters on CSI:MIAMI, nor am I making any money off this - as a matter of fact I don't make much, so please don't sue!

Notes: Like many, I'm totally bummed about CSI:Miami being cancelled and I wanted to give it a proper send-off, DuCaine style. I was really annoyed Calleigh was not in that final scene, and it inspired this story. I also wanted to get the "team spirit" in there and try to stay true to the "canon" on the show, as much as I think some plotlines were completely contrived jokes…sigh. Ultimately, I wanted to try to explain and mend a beautiful relationship that made me love the show way back when - the relationship between H and Cal. Anyway, on with the show!

Here is the first part. Oh, and FEEDBACK is much appreciated – please let me know if you want me to continue!

"**Family Matters"**

**April 2012**

They were all gathered together. Everyone laughing, joking, kicking back after a long and stressful week on the job. H surveyed his team – his family for the past 10 year – and couldn't help but see the painful hole left by the one who wasn't there – Calleigh Duquesne.

The adoption had gone through. He was happy for her – she had a chance at something Horatio had always wanted – a chance to raise a child. Twice that chance had been snatched away – once following the death of Marisol, and again when he discovered his own flesh and blood, Kyle, when he was already practically grown. No, Kyle was a world away in Afghanistan, and Horatio was in Miami…alone, as ever.

**7 Years Earlier…**

"Horatio," Calleigh called, coming out of the elevator and meeting her boss by the front desk. "Ryan said you wanted to see me?"

"I did," he responded, raising an eyebrow. "I know I've been a bit out of touch these past few days…"

"Horatio, I understand. I just hope Ray and Yelina made it out OK…"

"They're fine. I took care of it," he replied, looking down and remembering the airfield, the moment his brother embraced a woman Horatio had desperately wanted to love, but always felt she wasn't his to hold.

"Like you always do," she smiled back to him, but Horatio could see the strain and weariness on her face.

"Calleigh, I wanted to talk to you…"

"Oh Horatio," she sighed, shaking her head. "If this is about my transfer from ballistics, I want to apologize. I never should've just walked out on the team like that. It's just…" she stopped, gathering herself, stealing back tears as the image of John Hagen's dead body tore its way into her thoughts. "It's just, I think a change of scenery might be good for me after, you know…"

"I do," Horatio replied in a low, soft tone. "Can we talk about this in my office?"

"Of course," she replied seriously, wondering if she was in trouble. His gentle gaze put her at ease as they walked down the hall.

Entering the room, Horatio closed the door behind them. The blinds were, as usual, closed, and the intimate setting made Calleigh a bit unsteady. She wasn't sure what it was, but she felt somewhat intimidated being in such a close space with him. Not in a bad way, but in a way that made her pulse quicken and her throat run dry.

Calleigh was not a pushover, and could handle the toughest criminals Miami had to offer, but when it came to Horatio Caine – his determination, his confidence, his passion – she often felt herself fumble a bit like an awkward teenager, trying to keep herself together when it was so easy to get lost in his steely blue gaze.

"Calleigh?" Horatio questioned, arching an eyebrow.

"Wh- Oh, I'm sorry, Horatio. I was just a little…lost in thought."

"Understandable, ma'am. Would you like to have a seat?" he asked, gesturing to a chair in front of his desk. Calleigh sat and Horatio moved behind his desk, taking a seat as well. He folded his hands and leaned forward on his desk, wanting to ease any fears she had.

"Calleigh," he began softly. "I just…I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did last week. John….was never the most…_stable_ man on the force. So if there's any feelings of guilt, of what ifs-"

"Horatio, I can't-" she began, cutting him off, but stumbling to find the words. "If you're worried about my ability to perform my duties around here, please don't. I'm fine."

"I've heard you say that before," Horatio said sadly. "If you need time-"

"_You _never need time," she replied, looking down sadly. Horatio shifted at her words, wondering how this suddenly had become about him. "Horatio, I just, I just need some space, that's all. I'm a big girl."

"Sweetheart," he said softly, causing Calleigh to quickly glance up in surprise at the affection in his voice. "I would never question your ability to do your job. You've never let me down. I admire your decision to know your limits, to stay out of ballistics for…for however long you need."

Calleigh pursed her lips and nodded. "Thank you," she rasped.

"But," he continued, "I know trauma when I see it."

Calleigh stiffened at his words, wondering how he always read her so well.

"I completely understand if you decline to seek counseling," Horatio said, "but I want you to know that I'm here … if you ever need to talk. My door is always open."

Calleigh gave him a small smile, and felt her eyes begin to burn with unshed tears. She wished she could put into words for him what she was feeling – her anguish over John's suicide, her regret at not listening to Horatio in the first place when it came to their relationship. She thought about how protective Horatio had been when she'd been seeing John, especially that time when he'd gotten physical with her in the lab. She remembered Horatio standing in the doorway, hands on hips, staring John down, a menacing look in his eyes. She was grateful for his support, but at the time she was more embarrassed then anything else.

"Calleigh?" Horatio said as he got up from his desk and sat next to her, again interrupting her thoughts.

'I'm usually so focused. Why do I get so lost in thought when it comes to Horatio?" Calleigh wondered to herself. She sighed, looking up at him, not realizing her face was wet with tears.

"Calleigh, tell me …" he whispered hoarsely, leaning in close.

"I … I was just thinking … we've been through a lot the past two years, haven't we?"

"I would agree."

"Horatio, I just … " she looked up, seeing the pain on his face, and all she wanted to do was wipe it away. "I'm so sorry," she rasped. "I … You've been through so much more, and I … I've always admired your strength. I can't imagine what you're going through right now … I'm sorry I bothered you," she said, shaking her head and quickly getting up.

"Calleigh, wait-" Horatio called, following her and taking her hand in his. She caught her breath at the action and turned to face him, his eyes piercing her.

"Horatio," she rasped. She didn't know what was happening. All she could think of was how alone they both were, and how tragic their year had been. All she could think of was that other time he stopped her from walking away, that fleeting moment in the locker room, that strong embrace that seemed to last for an eternity. She wanted that again, even though she knew she shouldn't.

Horatio was looking at her expectantly, stealing back tears of his own. They were drowning in each other's pain, and he was beginning to realize how much Calleigh meant to him, and how close he'd come to losing her. If John had pulled that trigger…

"I've lost a lot of things in my life," he rasped. "And the thought of losing you, too..."

"Horatio," she choked out, putting her head down in embarrassment., trying to put on a strong face for him. "I told you, I'm fine."

"You can be honest with me," he implored.

"I know," she swallowed, still looking down. "But I…I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of the truth," she said, pushing back an errant strand of hair behind her ear and looking to the side nervously. "I'm afraid of this," she added, grasping his hand more tightly as they both brought their gaze to their entwined fingers.

"I … I understand," Horatio nodded.

"Damn it," Calleigh hissed, letting his hand go and turning around, running her fingers through her hair. "I never know where I stand with you, Horatio," she continued, her back still to him. "You're so protective and compassionate one minute, and the next I can't find you at all."

"I'm so-"

"Just stop, Horatio," she said, turning toward him, tears staining her cheeks. "Why are you so willing to help me, but you won't let me help you? What are we dancing around all these years?"

"I … I don't know," Horatio hesitated, swallowing, not sure where this conversation was headed.

"Can you feel it? The energy between us? Is it just me Horatio? Am I just crazy?"

"No…Calleigh, you are-"

"I mean, I must be crazy, because I usually always fall for the bad boys," she said quickly, looking to the side and talking more to herself then to Horatio. She was processing her thoughts out loud with out even realizing it.. "It's insane. This is absolutely insane," she muttered, shaking her head.

"Hey," Horatio rasped, grasping her hand again. "Come back to me."

"Oh, oh God…" Calleigh gasped, coming to her senses and realizing what she had just said. "I – now I really should go," she said nervously, starting again for the door.

"Please…let's just … sit," Horatio said, his eyes begging her to stay.

"This is dangerous," she whispered. "You're … my superior, and I've always respected those boundaries Horatio, always. But right now…I'm having trouble…"

"Calleigh … " His eyes searched hers, questioning, inviting. His hand tightened on hers. If he was going to call her sweetheart, hold her hand, pierce her soul with his gaze, then she was going to respond with a fierce passion of her own. She threw caution to the wind.

"God, I love you," she rasped, putting her free hand on his face and pulling him down to her, crushing his lips to hers.

Like the hug they shared not that long before, the kiss seemed to last an eternity. Horatio tensed at first, but Calleigh was ruthless, imploring him to allow her entrance into his heart. He couldn't help but soften as her mouth opened during the kiss, her voice gasping "Please," as she licked his lips and returned to devour him again. He was amazed by her passion, her strength, her ability to act on everything she was feeling. Horatio had always feared to act on those emotions when it came to those he loved, and he envied Calleigh's complete abandonment.

A sudden knock on the door caused them both to tense and break apart quickly.

"Just a second," Horatio rasped, still reeling from the kiss. Calleigh was completely undone by it, lost in her passion for him and hoping she hadn't pushed too far.

"Horatio, I'm sorry, I just had to -"

"Shhh," Horatio said, placing a finger on her lips. "It's OK. We're OK."

Another knock on the door. "Hey, H! I just wanted to hand in some paperwork. Should I come back?"

It was Eric.

"No, no, I was just speaking with Calleigh…I'll be right there," Horatio reassured him, trying to find strength in his voice.

"Oh God, Eric…" Calleigh whispered. "What if he-"

"I don't want you to worry about anything, sweetheart, OK?" Horatio said, placing a hand on her face. "We'll…talk later. Alright?"

Calleigh looked down, feeling embarrassed and small. "OK… God, I'm so sorry, I don't know what-"

"Hey, look at me," Horatio rasped, placing his hand under her chin and bringing her face up to his gaze. "You have nothing to be sorry for." He began wiping away the tears on her face.

"Thank you," she replied, squeezing his hand before finally breaking from his grasp. "Better get outta here before Eric gets suspicious."

"OK, then…later, ma'am."

"You know I would never stand up my LT," she drawled with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. Horatio smiled back as they both collected themselves before opening the door.

"Hey, Eric," Calleigh smiled, brushing past him quickly and walking toward the elevator.

"She OK, H?" Eric asked, concerned. "I mean, you should know she was really shaken up by the whole Hagen thing. I was there…she took it hard, H."

"I know," Horatio said. "Thank you for being there for her, Eric."

"Of course, H," Eric replied. "Look, I know she wanted to take some time away from ballistics, and I can relate, but do you think she's gonna be OK?"

"She's a fighter, Eric. She'll pull through…"

"With a little help from friends," Eric added.

"Family, Eric," Horatio corrected. "Remember what I told you – we're family."

"Right, H," Eric nodded, looking down. He handed Horatio the files. "Oh, and H – thanks for always being there. For all of us."

"Always," Horatio replied, giving him a small smile. Eric smiled back and waved, walking out and heading back to the lab.

" Family," Horatio sighed to himself. "I wish I knew what that meant now…"

**7 Years Later…April 2012**

"To family!" Eric cheered loudly raising his glass as the rest of the CSIs followed suit.

This broke Horatio from his memory as he looked up and brought his attention back to the present. He was at the bar with his CSIs, celebrating another solved case and helping Ryan Wolfe mend his slightly broken heart.

Horatio raised his glass in return, softly responding, "To family."

"Hey, anyone hear from Calleigh?" Natalia asked, looking expectantly at Eric.

"Yea," he replied sheepishly, smiling. "The court gave Cal custody of both kids."

"That's great, I'm so happy for her," Nat replied with smile. "Those kids need a loving home, especially after their father…" Her voice trailed off as the memory of being locked in a trunk and almost drowned flashed before her.

"Hey," Eric said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You OK, BV?"

"Yea," she swallowed, then chuckled slightly, looking at Horatio. "You know, it's kind of ironic…the father of those poor kids tried to kill us," she said, gesturing to Horatio, "but now they're in good hands with Calleigh, thank God. She's gonna make a great mom, don't you think, H?"

"The best, I'm sure," he said in a strong voice, trying to mask the sadness he was feeling.

"Well, I guess that means she's ditching us tonight," Ryan lamented, frowning. "I mean, I'm totally happy for her, but c'mon. What's a CSI party without Calleigh Duquesne?"

"I'll drink to that," Frank replied dryly as everyone chuckled. Everyone but Horatio, who looked down sadly.

He admired the youth of his team, their easy chemistry, the way they bantered and laughed. He remembered when he used to do the same … especially with Calleigh.

_Horatio: "... a present for you from Alexx." _

_Calleigh: "Nasal mucus. And it isn't even my birthday."_

_Calleigh: "I don't look good in all black."_

_Horatio: "I beg to differ."_

_Horatio: "What do you get when a 6-foot tall man lays down with an 3-foot long rifle."_

_Calleigh: "Hot flashes, but that's just me."_

_Calleigh: "Do you believe her story?" _

_Horatio: "I don't know. I guess that depends on whether you like seeing men dress up in your underwear or not." _

_Calleigh: "Personally, leather chaps, nothing else... That was a joke."_

"Earth to Horatio," Frank drawled, the liquor starting to get the better of him.

"Oh – yea, Frank?" Horatio said, a little startled.

"And now…deep thoughts," Tom Lohman chuckled, taking another swig of his whiskey.

"I did get a little lost there, sorry," Horatio said, forcing a smile.

"What were you thinkin' about, H?" Ryan asked, his voice cracking a bit as he began feeling a bit tipsy himself.

"Just … family." Horatio replied, raising his glass to the team and taking a drink himself. He remembered more somber words about family … words that he had once exchanged with the one CSI who now seemed so distant to him.

_Calleigh: "Sometimes it's difficult to have family." _

_Horatio: "Sometimes, it's more difficult not to."_


	2. Chapter 2

Title: "Family Matters"

Author: ducainefan

Subject: Team Spirit, H/C relationship undertones

Rating: M (to be safe)

Summary: Finishing what was started in the bar at the end of Season 10's "Habeas Corpus." What does it really mean to be a "family" for the Miami-Dade dayshift?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters on CSI:MIAMI, nor am I making any money off this - as a matter of fact I don't make much, so please don't sue!

Notes: OK, here's chapter 2. I changed up the formatting a bit – now I'll be doing flashbacks in italics, just to differentiate them. Let me know if the flashbacks get confusing. Anyway, the first chapter was from H's perspective, and this one is from Eric's. This one's more E/C, since I'm trying to stay Canon. Hope you enjoy! And please leave feedback! More chapters to come if you like this!

"**Family Matters" - Chapter 2**

**Present – April 2012**

As the team finished their drinks, they all seemed very reluctant to part. It felt so good to be together again, after everything that had tried to tear them apart in the past year or so – beginning with the death of Jesse Cardoza and Eric's return to the team.

"So … who's up for a game of basketball?" Walter asked, grinning and finishing his third drink.

"Not sure we'd be makin' too many baskets, my friend," Eric replied, chuckling. Eric was glad he'd returned to the team, and finally felt at home again. He'd patched things up with Ryan, his relationship with Natalia had become one of genuine friendship, and of course Horatio was his closest friend. And then there was Calleigh…

'I should've never let you go,' he thought, kicking himself for leaving Miami without her after his second brush with death's door.

Looking back, Eric couldn't believe he gave her up, all because he had grown weary of the dark side of the job. His injuries, his biological father's betrayal, that young couple that would never have the chance to be together all because they drew the short straw in the big business of genetically engineered food … It was all too much for him, he had to get away.

That day in the locker room, nearly two years ago, when he hugged Calleigh tightly, he wasn't sure what came over him. He did know he didn't want to drag Calleigh into any more painful experiences.

"_So I figured out what you're doing," Calleigh said matter-of-factly, but Eric could hear the emotion in her voice. _

"_Can't wait to hear where this is going." _

"_You're leaving CSI, aren't you?" Eric sighed, walking around the locker to meet Calleigh face to face._

"_You always were good at reading me," he said with a small smile. "Look, um, let's not tell anyone else, for now, cause I don't feel like answering a ton of questions."_

"_I wouldn't," Calleigh said, and though she was smiling he could tell she was holding back tears. "So why are you going?"_

"_A lot of reasons," he started._

"_Life's too short," she laughed, but the emotion was evident on her face. She knew she was losing him._

"_Yea, basically," he replied with a smile, trying to keep the mood light. He didn't know how to approach this._

"_And what about you and me?" she asked, still smiling, but he could tell that in her mind her world was crashing down. She'd had her fair share of heartbreak – Hagen, Peter Elliot, Jake…and now Eric Delko._

"_I guess CSI's not the only game in town," she said lightly, trying to cut through the silence that hung heavy between them, trying to give them both hope._

"_Like I said," he whispered, "You know me too well." _

_He wasn't sure what he meant by that, but he could see the hesitation in her gaze, the knowing look that things were going to be different._

_When he reached in for a kiss he saw her eyes darken and close. Her face fell – he'd seen it before – with her father, with Jake. It was the face she made every time she confronted disappointment. He could feel her trembling, heard her sniffle as she kept holding back her emotion. She always wanted to be the strong one – and she was. She was staying with the team, with H, while Eric was running scared, abandoning the team that stood by him countless times through all his injuries and indiscretions._

_In that moment, Eric turned and vowed not to look back – he couldn't bear to look at her. Why hadn't he reassured her, told her he'd call her later? Why didn't' he tell her that now maybe things would be easier, since they wouldn't have to worry about IAB and sneaking around and hiding their relationship from everyone, even those they loved the most. Why didn't that dead couple remind him of Calleigh, and drive him closer to her instead of further away? Why?_

Eric sighed, coming back to the present, and feeling Calleigh's absence even more strongly. During his time away from CSI, Eric had come to terms with the fact that his relationship with Calleigh was more about him than it was about her. He needed someone to help him heal, to make him whole, and Calleigh was definitely a giver. Even their lovemaking … it was passionate, but he always sensed her holding back a bit, concentrating solely on him instead of on _them_ – like she was desperate to steal his pain, even if it meant making it her own.

He remembered something she said once, after they had made love one night.

"_I'm so sorry, Eric," she rasped, leaning against his chest, fighting back tears as they lay in bed together._

"_Sorry for what," he chuckled, still slightly out of breath. "That was … amazing, baby."_

"_No, I mean … I can't imagine what it must've been like for you. Coming back to work and dealing with all the nagging doubts about whether you could still do your job. And then reliving your sister's death all over again…"_

_Eric swallowed, wishing she hadn't brought up Marisol, not in their bed. "Yea, it wasn't easy, it hurt like hell," he rasped, being honest with her. "Sometimes, it's like I can still feel her, you know? Like Mari's still with me."_

"_I'm sure she is," Calleigh replied softly, but he sensed her tense in discomfort._

"_Hey, I didn't mean right this second Cal," Eric chuckled, pulling her close. "Of course, I think she'd definitely approve of … us. But I'd rather not think of her watchin' our every move, you know."_

"_You and me both," she said, raising an eyebrow and shaking her head, as if to ward off something. "Thank you, though," she sniffed._

"_For what?"_

"_For being honest with me, for opening up," she swallowed. "I … it's refreshing to see a man who's comfortable with letting go, with sharing his pain."_

"_Well, you're welcome," Eric smiled, kissing her forehead. "I mean, I guess we never really talked about that kinda stuff before … but I'm not afraid. If there's one thing I learned after all I've been through, Cal, it's to live in the moment, and right now, I couldn't think of a better place to be."_

"Ouch!" Eric exclaimed, coming back to the present again and seeing Walter chuckle mischievously. Ryan was snickering and Nat gave him a sympathetic look, trying to hold back a grin. Eric reached down and picked up the bottle cap that had hit him squarely in the left bicep. "Really, Walter? Three beers and you're actin' like a fifth grader?"

"Hey, man, never doubt my basketball skills," Walter said, pointing at him deliberately. "Even with three beers in me."

"And he's apparently pretty good at beer pong too," Nat snickered, shaking her head. "You boys are too much. I need some girl power. Eric, get Calleigh on the phone."

"Hey, you got her number, too – call her yourself," Eric smiled.

"But we all know she'll definitely pick up for _you_, Eric," Ryan said sarcastically, slurring his words a little. "C'mon lover boy, dial the digits, man."

Eric became somewhat uncomfortable. He knew everyone was a little tipsy and just wanted to have a good time, and God knows he wanted Cal to be there in some way, but he didn't like how everyone perceived him when it came to Calleigh. He didn't want to be seen as the only person who could get her on the phone, or reach out to her. The truth was, he wasn't even sure she still wanted him to be her "lover boy" anymore. They hadn't been together, not in that way, since he had been caught wearing a wire and spying on the team over a year ago, and Ryan's words stung more than Eric wanted to admit.

"Listen," Eric replied, trying to keep the tone light and hide his own discomfort, "we all know I'm not the only one Cal answers the phone for. I mean, H can call her – she always picks up for the LT, right, H?"

Eric watched Horatio's eyebrows rise and an uncomfortable look run across his face. The rest of the team wouldn't have noticed it, but Eric knew Horatio for too long to miss it.

"C'mon, we don't want her to think she's getting another call out," Nat said., tugging on Eric's shirt playfully. "I mean, she was already called in once today, and she's probably spending some quality time with the kids. I don't want to worry her, I just want to get a little injection of estrogen into this friendly gathering. C'mon Eric."

Eric sighed, smiling. "OK, OK, Nat," he replied, shaking his head. "But if she gets pissed, I'm handing my cell to you."

"Just dial, Delko," she said, smirking. Eric smiled back. He was so glad that he and Nat had maintained a strong friendship, despite the somewhat rocky and passionate beginning. They had a nice rapport, an easy way of being together, and he was grateful for her spunk and enthusiasm. She added a lot to the team, and was a damn good CSI. 'She sure had Sam figured out,' Eric thought as he took out his phone and dialed Calleigh's number.

Out of the corner of his eye, Eric noted Horatio's sad gaze into the horizon, as if his boss was lost in thoughts of his own. He made a mental note to spend some quality time with him later, just to catch up a bit. Calleigh was right. Life was too short, and every second mattered. He turned his attention back to the phone call and waited for an answer.


End file.
